Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Hallowe'en has an apostrophe...

I don't care how newspapers and magazines are printing it. It's "Hallowe'en."

Not only has the beloved apostrophe been taken from me, but basically my entire Hallowe'en has been lost to work this year.

I haven't seen a horror movie in months. I have no costume. I don't even have any of that shitty candy-corn.

Right now I'm getting ready to work my second job, bouncing at the campus pub where there's already been 200 tickets sold to a Public Relations Hallowe'en pubnight (or as proper journalists would print; "Halloween pub night." But what do they know.)

So instead of dressing up, scaring my friends, hanging out and having a few drinks while watching horror movies this year, I'm going to be trying to figure out if an idiot dressed up as a douchey McLovin' and a slutty Hermione are having too much to drink.

Hallowe'en is supposed to be a time where you can cut loose and be something you've never dared to be, or secretly desire to be. To have some fun getting scared and silly. Although every year things seem to be getting more silly than scary.

An outfit from the Adult Superstore isn't a costume. It's a prop for the bedroom. Please don't wear it out tonight unless you're secret desire is to get treated like a whore.

I have a go big or go home philosophy for Hallowe'en. So please be creative. And just because you're dressed up like Hunter S. Thompson (wait, sorry... Johnny Depp from Fear and Loathing), doesn't mean you can drink like him. I don't want to have to deal with puke tonight.

My favourite holiday and all I can do is watch it roll past.

What a gip.

1 comment:

Jenny P. said...

I took took gravol, ate fantastic candy corn and passed out at 10 p.m. watching a vice tv show about erotic photography.
Happy hallowe'en.