Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ronery...

Kim Jong Il has vowed to make one more nuclear bomb. This would bring his total up to about seven bombs. Which, so far, are too large to attach to rockets. This would be scary if you were living next door to the Yongbyon Reactor in North Korea. I could see how it would be a little unnerving for South Koreans too.

Kimmy has also stated that the reason he's being so brash lately isn't because of his ailing health which has recently caused him to name one of his sons (no, not the gay one. Or the Disney fanatic. Yeah, that one, the fat alcoholic with the bum hip) as successor.

The fact is, Kimmy has only recently seen Team America: World Police and was less than impressed with his portrayal as a marionette psychopath who just wants a hug.

Kimmy wants the world to understand that he's not ronery, as Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of Team America would like their audience to believe. The real reason Kimmy has been so brash lately is because he has the smallest penis of any man alive today.

And he sure knows how to capitalize on it. Way to go, Kimmy. You're a douchebag.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Flint ain't Ottawa neither...

I don't have to explain that ridiculous title to anyone from Ottawa.

I'm just glad the stupid ad campaign and patronizing radio commercials have finally come to an end. And just to prove the whole comparison of the two cities was foolish to begin with, I give you exhibit A:



Very real. Look it up.

How they got Dr. Manhattan to model for the Detroit Free Press, I'll never know.

Now that I think of it, Ottawa and Flint do have some similarities. We both have a problem with assholes wandering unchecked on the streets.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Tankman...

Twenty years ago this week, China almost became a democracy.

On June 5, 1989, probably my favourite moment in history happened when one unarmed citizen stood up against a line of People's Liberation Army tanks and won.

Today, not many people in China know about Tankman, which is why it's so important for the rest of us to remember.

Here's the skinny, accompanied by sappy music from Coldplay and Moby. (It had the most complete footage I could find before work):



If you're still interested, you can find part 1 of an 8 part documentary about Tankman on YouTube here.