Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Cover girl...


Cindy Crawford was my first supermodel crush, if that's what you call it. Back in the day, she was the only person on earth who could make those high-waist 80s jeans look hot.

She still looks amazing (she's 43?!?) and she's recently posed nude for Allure magazine wearing nothing but makeup and soap suds.

And I'm extremely jealous of that lather. It's living out a childhood fantasy of mine.

Anyway...

"This is what 43 looks like" is what the shoot says. Literally. And it's not.

43 only looks like that for women who are unnaturally beautiful to begin with and spend all their time in the gym smothered in chemicals and creams. It's Crawford's job to look beautiful.

That's to say nothing about the makeup artist and professional photographer brought in for the shoot.

If she came out when she was 20 and said "this is what 20 looks like," would you buy it? I sure wouldn't. It would have been unrealistic then, and it's unrealistic now.

Most 43-year-olds I've known through my life are busy working the diner at 2am to put food in their kids' tummies. They're standing all day at the bank watching more money float past them in a day than they make in a year.

They tend to moisturize with dish soap about once a day. And roughly once a week they have the bleach and water floor-scrubbing exfoliation routine which gives their skin the beautiful strength of a dried up river bed.

I still think Cindy Crawford is gorgeous, just as much now as when I was young. But it's an unrealistic beauty. And whether she knows it or not, she's attacking the body images of the exact same women who idolized her 20 years ago.

But hey, with all the chemicals in Crawford's skin, Allure could probably dig up her corpse in 50 years or so and do another photo shoot.

And I bet she'd still look hot.

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