Club whitey...

Every now and then, someone is going to utter a line that seems borderline racist and it usually sounds something like; "Why does every other group other than white men have advocacy groups and clubs?"

It's stupid, but in some way, I understand it.

The initial reaction is to say; Listen. Whitey's been in power over most (practically ALL) of the western world for centuries. Whitey has a tendency to be short-sighted and unapologetic. Basically, Whitey fucks shit up. A lot.

And that's easy to say when the entire path of the modern world has been blazed by rich white men. But rich black men, or rich white women, or rich Chinese people wouldn't escape the same pitfalls of humanity which brought us to this point in time. I refuse to believe that skin tone and gender make people that different.

Immediately after the notion of a club or group of white men is proposed, images of the private country club with a giant sign out front - "No Jews or Blacks" - springs to mind. The only women and foreigners allowed past the gates are the ones who fold napkins and wash dishes while the White Male Club smokes cigars and devours $40 club sandwiches. Whitey's sit and discuss which currency makes the best toilet paper and how many strippers they could fuck in a weekend.

But that's the fear. The fear of the old times and the fear of a stereotype which seem to me, were just a symptom of a dead culture trying to create a new one which satisfied their inadequacies. If there's one thing rich white folks are good at it's pretending the world is A-ok just by measuring their slice of the pie.

I offer up a different vision for a White Male Club:

Factory workers, miners and mechanics sitting around a patio, drinking beer and eating hot dogs. No real threat to anything but their dying organs and discussing the same things as people of other races; how badly Whitey fucked shit up.

These are basically my family reunions, except women are invited to join in. And my Syrian relatives. And my black roommate. And basically anyone else who wants to drink beer and eat hot dogs, we're pretty easy going.

The notion of establishing an official Club Whitey is always met with that same fear of the old stereotypes, but there's already unofficial clubs all over the world and most of them are just like my family gatherings.

The big secret is that most white people are fine with our secret, backyard hot dog clubs. It's the giant organized white groups that make us nervous and shameful. The ones who always preach heritage and purity of race. Yeah, those motherfuckers. The ones who form demonstrations promoting the establishment of official White Male Clubs.

Those bastards are right that the world is becoming less white, but that's not a bad thing. And it isn't nearly as scary as they make it out to be. Over time, when Asians, Indians and Hispanics populate the world, when everyone in the west celebrates Cinco De Mayo, they'll look at my family reunions and think; "Look at that white club. Drinking beer and eating hot dogs, just like in that documentary."

Maybe I'm wrong and the stereotypes and "white is right" bastards will be long forgotten.

Or maybe they'll be delighted and surprised by how open we are to other people.