Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ronery...

Kim Jong Il has vowed to make one more nuclear bomb. This would bring his total up to about seven bombs. Which, so far, are too large to attach to rockets. This would be scary if you were living next door to the Yongbyon Reactor in North Korea. I could see how it would be a little unnerving for South Koreans too.

Kimmy has also stated that the reason he's being so brash lately isn't because of his ailing health which has recently caused him to name one of his sons (no, not the gay one. Or the Disney fanatic. Yeah, that one, the fat alcoholic with the bum hip) as successor.

The fact is, Kimmy has only recently seen Team America: World Police and was less than impressed with his portrayal as a marionette psychopath who just wants a hug.

Kimmy wants the world to understand that he's not ronery, as Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of Team America would like their audience to believe. The real reason Kimmy has been so brash lately is because he has the smallest penis of any man alive today.

And he sure knows how to capitalize on it. Way to go, Kimmy. You're a douchebag.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Flint ain't Ottawa neither...

I don't have to explain that ridiculous title to anyone from Ottawa.

I'm just glad the stupid ad campaign and patronizing radio commercials have finally come to an end. And just to prove the whole comparison of the two cities was foolish to begin with, I give you exhibit A:



Very real. Look it up.

How they got Dr. Manhattan to model for the Detroit Free Press, I'll never know.

Now that I think of it, Ottawa and Flint do have some similarities. We both have a problem with assholes wandering unchecked on the streets.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Tankman...

Twenty years ago this week, China almost became a democracy.

On June 5, 1989, probably my favourite moment in history happened when one unarmed citizen stood up against a line of People's Liberation Army tanks and won.

Today, not many people in China know about Tankman, which is why it's so important for the rest of us to remember.

Here's the skinny, accompanied by sappy music from Coldplay and Moby. (It had the most complete footage I could find before work):



If you're still interested, you can find part 1 of an 8 part documentary about Tankman on YouTube here.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Flip floppherty...

How did Jim Flaherty get his job? Honestly, I'd like to know.

So Canada's fiscal deficit will be jumping to over $50 BILLION from the original $34 BILLION estimated by Canada's money-handler on January 27.

Funny how the Tories didn't want to release that number, isn't it? Not like it's their money. It's our money. And they seem to be more interested in saving their own asses than admitting to Canadian's what the situation is.

This is the CPC at its worst.

I can understand Canada will have money woes these days. I have no problem with that. Anyone who can turn on a television or pick up the international section of the paper can see things will be tough for a bit. I'm not naive enough to think Canada will sit in a bubble.

What bothers me is Conservative obfuscation. Many Bothans died getting the federal balance books to the Canadian public and that's exactly how the Tories want it.

Our November surplus of $800 million? It never existed.

The four years of surplus Stephen Harper promised us? Gone.

Harper's promise to balance the books was a lie and he's going to keep lying if it means he can hold on to power with his clammy, robotic death grip. From what I've heard, that sort of behaviour runs in his family and Canadians should be aware of his genetic disorders.

But don't worry, this deficit - the largest in Canadian history since fellow Conservative, Brian Mulroney - is just what Flaherty calls a "substantial short-term deficit."

Bullshit. There's no such thing as short-term when you're in the hole... FOR $50 BILLION!

Saturday, May 23, 2009